People I Most want To Brutally Murder
1 Bill Gates (that's my money......)

2 Steven Hawking (you stole my bit!)

3 Tom Arnold (I hate you for no reason.)

4 Daniel Radcliffe (your acting makes me vomit.)

5 William Shakespeare (soooo many plays, sooooooo much pain!)

6 Anthony Hopkins (so twisted, soooo disturbing..)

7 Boris Yeltzin (why did you mess up Russia so much?)

8 John Kennedy (lucky he got there first)

9 George Lucas (Star Wars could have actually been something. Why?)

10 Angus Deyaton (this man is twisted, high, disturbed and unfaithful. Curse have I got news for you to hell...heaven!)

Tips For Annoying People:
1 If people never use their real name call them by it and see their reaction (eg Toby becomes Tobias)

2 If 1 does not work then modify someone's name, for example add letters on the end or say it backwards.

3 Phone up your freind 2 weeks in advance and tell them that you can not come to their party because you don't feel like it.

4 While on the phone add backround noises such as a dog barking or bells ringing.

5 Follow someone around with a video camera for as many hours as possible.

6 Issue a death threat to a celebrity.

7 When someone tries to tell you something important, reply that you don't have the time because you have to "synchronize your watch", then proceed to stand around doing nothing.

8 If someone talks to you reply to everything "And then?"

9 If someone asks you to do something for them, ask if they would like fries with that.

10 In front of a large crowd start talking to an inanimate object and pulling someone from the crowd, tell everyone that you are their freind.

11 Walk around nervously and if someone asks what's wrong, proceed in talking about how "the little people" surround you in a scared voice.

12 Talk in Pig Latin.

13 If you are in an office or internet cafe then turn up your monitor brightness to full and insist that you like it that way.

14 Go to a fast food restaurant asking for a takeaway, and when you have chosen what to order and about to give them the cash change your mind and choose something else. Repeat several times.

15 Repeat number 14 except with reserving a table at a posh restaurant.

16 Go to a cash machine at a parking lot that mentions that it does not give change, then insert a couple of pence too much and insist that a man on duty give you the money plus interest for the machine wasting your time.

17 Go and buy something with your dad or mum's credit card. Make sure it is not accepted at the shop, then when they say that they do not accept it, ask if its because the person holding it is black, brown, Italian, Finnish etc. and grab the attention of all the customers saying that shops like ....... should not display such discrimination.

18 Play jungle noises and use a mosquito net at work around your desk, claiming that you want to get "into Africa".

19 Trash talk.

20 Put your fingers in your ears, humming "lalalala" during break, lunch and lessons.

21 Purposely walk out of a teacher's lesson, and if a teacher asks say that the teacher is prejudiced towards the colour/race/nationality/faith you are.

22 Put a pin on Mr Thomas' chair.

Interesting Evil Facts:
1 A sneeze speeds out of your nose at 150mph.

2 Hockey pucks can move around at up to 100mph.

3 98% of American children can recognise Ronald McDonald.

4 90% of all Americans are insured against alien abduction.

5 In America, players on the Weakest Link had to sign a contract saying that they would not sue Anne Robinson for the comments she made against them.

6 Coca Cola backwards is "Mohammed never existed and the Qur'an was never written" in Arabic.

7 The word "Kilimanjaro" translates as "It's a mountain!" in Swahili.

8 Manic Miner really sucks.

9 Recently a woman in America named Katherine Ortega who ordered some chicken wings from McDonalds got more than she bargained for when she found a fried chicken's head amongst the chicken wings. The chicken's beak, the cone on top of its head and some feathers were visible.