Spreading The Evil:

We're always hiring. After all, if we were'nt then what other ways are there to spread the joy of causing pain and suffering to others? Eh? Eh? Can you think of ways? Well if you can then email me (martinellianthony@hotmail.com). We are always looking for ways to broaden our audience. For instance when we went to South Africa and shot some innocent workers we gained the farmers' support. When joining Evil Inc. you will receive a membership card (if possible), a number based on the order in which you joined and will have to agree to the following terms of membership:

1 You must swear by the sacred oath of evil to always have at least some hatred, gluttony, lust, selfishness or jealousy in you.

2 You must provide 10 demons monthly for use "strange things" and must also provide service in the form of pranks three times every month.

3 You must refer to all above youn as "Your Evilness".

4 You must tell a serious lie every week for you first two months in Evil Inc.

5 For your first week in Evil Inc. your soul is held as a hostage. Any wavering from the side of evil and it will be tortured and destroyed by the machine we recently bought from hell.

6 Every day when you get up you must recite the following prayer:
"Dear God, please accept my prayer of evilness. I hate and always will hate Bill Gates, George Lucas and Richard Nixon. Please put a curse on them so that Microsoft stock drops, the Star Wars Comic fails worldwide and more and more people add Nixon to their dartboards.Amen (you must then laugh manically for the next 10minutes)"

7 You must get a skinhead cut and let your mother see it.

These are the rules. You will live and die by the rules. If you don't join then you might meet an end sooner than you think. Fly, monkey/peacock hybrids, fly! Damn. Peacocks can't fly. But what about the one that just flew out of the window...(looks out of window to see remains) Ouch! That's gotta hurt!